Beach Packing with Psoriasis (Ends with a Bang)

The spotted girl took a trip to see the ocean. After developing a series of red, raised teardrop-shaped patches all over my body due to my psoriasis flare-up, the idea of even stepping out to take out the trash was difficult to imagine.

I was terrified of being perceived. If someone had seen me I'd either have to explain the situation immediately (my flare-up was caused by a recent bout of strep throat-- oddly enough they're connected) or, if they were just a passerby, they would continue to stare for as long as they could before my eyes caught theirs.

Most people got over it quickly. But after a bit of self-realization, I figured out I am actually a shorts person or at least a frequent wearer of shorts. Particularly my 5" inseam denim shorts with DIY side slits <3. I typically don't even have them out of the laundry long enough to put them away. They're top of the rotation, always. Or at least they were.

My inner need to cover my psoriasis as much as possible meant I would have to put away those shorts and many other skirts, short sleeve t-shirts, and tank tops for a bit. Although I was on antibiotics prescribed by my doctor, a flare-up or "remission" can typically take 1-12 months to clear up.

This was during a particularly hot South Florida summer. Cars melting, dogs panting, the season was calling for some hot (literally) summer fashion!

Screw the stares. Perhaps it will cause them to do a deep dive search into who the spotted girl was. And perhaps they stumble onto this very post. Hello fan!

After two weeks (and a lot of hyping up from my mother) I began to wear more of my regular clothing, showing off my arms and legs little by little with each outfit choice until eventually, she asked me to go to the beach with her.

The truth is I don't necessarily ~love~ the beach, and I certainly wasn't feeling excited about showing my skin in a swimsuit at a popular public place. But as it was my mom's final few days of vacation, I had to join.

While I don't think going to the beach is highly recommended for psoriasis, the mental nourishment I received feeling the salty breeze felt like enough to cure me in a way my air conditioner could never fulfill. I also brought along a few essentials to help keep me comfortable and keep my mind off of my skin.

WARNING! I'm not a licensed professional. My knowledge of psoriasis only spans upon what I have experienced as someone with occasional flare-ups. If you need help with your skin condition, please reach out to your doctor.

Here's what I bring to the beach to ensure a pleasant experience:

• Sunscreen- LOTS of it. I found using cream sunscreen to be the most effective in keeping my psoriasis moisturized while staying safe from the sun. While my doctor had recommended sitting in the sun for a bit, I don't think she intended for me to be laid out in 90-degree weather for hours on end. I applied generous amounts of sunscreen every two hours.

• Umbrella- Absolutely essential. The heat is already hot enough in the shade.

• Extra Towel- for the time when you do wish to take a dip in the waters, it's best to have a towel on hand to dry off immediately, as I've noticed letting the water dry on your skin can cause my skin to feel itchy and stiff. Having an extra towel to sit on (after using your first towel to dry off) between yourself and your chair/the ground can help keep your skin feeling fresh and unbothered. Make sure to reapply sunscreen after your dip!

• Breathable Lotion- Sometimes even sunscreen can feel drying, so having a second breathable lotion help with the itch. Extra points if it's fast-drying! Sticky lotion and sand are not the best mix.

• Loose Fitting Clothes- Wearing loose, breezy clothing to the beach not only helps you keep cool but also helps keep your skin from being irritated.

All of these tools helped keep me feeling good physically, but the ultimate hurdle, the eyes of fellow beachgoers, was something I needed to get over emotionally. As I sat on the beach and began removing my clothes to reveal my splotches, I could feel myself shrivel into my chair.

But as time faded and a few hard seltzers were drunk, I felt a bit more relaxed and was able to face my fears. I walked into the ocean. As I felt what could have been a few eyes on me, I concentrated on the water.

Although the waves come in at varying levels of strength, they always come back. Outside factors may have an effect, but they never cease the "motion of the ocean". Being able to rely on the waves made it easier to take each sandy step. Nothing bad happened from entering the water. The tsunami of anxiety I had felt met with the calmness of the waves I was floating through and kept me at peace.

This overflow of confidence fueled me for the next couple of days. Following the beach, I was feeling bolder than ever. But when I looked in the mirror, I didn't feel bolder. I was ready to express myself and my appearance differently.

I decided to take a leap of faith and get baby bangs, a style I've admired for years on end but never felt comfortable rocking myself. Long story short: bangs are not for everyone and certainly need some getting used to. Ultimately I'm happy I leaped, even if it leads to a three-month growing out period.

This psoriasis may have begun as a burden, but now I see it's helped me assess my inner desire for outside approval. Ultimately, stares will be stares and strangers will remain strangers. Those whose opinions matter to me have only been kind and understanding since my psoriasis remission. My skin hasn't completely cleared up yet, but my cloud of judgment on myself has certainly lightened.